poem 18 on picking up

You, who will drop everything for a friend,

or even an acquaintance– set aside

your plans or desires without even the slightest

look back– or thought for SELF.

 

She has taught you a very lopsided

version of boundaries–

barriers perhaps is a better word–

walls which are programmed to spring

into action when the fortress of your heart

is threatened.  Massive monuments which

serve as reminders of pain and suffering

held captive and bound by your own

body and mind.

 

If you were to release your hold–

lessen the torturous grip– allow yourself

to slip down into the comfort and

warmth offered by my open arms–

what is it you’ll lose?  Is there something?

Is it her?

 

Are you ready to let go of all the

years of painful devotion to an

unbalanced love?  Who is your

self-sacrifice serving?  What do you want?

Who do you want?

 

You cannot have her– that ship

has sailed– the lessons floating

along in the water– begging you to drag

them ashore.  Pleading with you to

pick them up, dry them off, run

your hands along their edges– to know

them as you know your pain.  Hold

them in your arms, as gently as you

cradle a baby– sing them to sleep as

they dissolve into the sand, running

through your fingers– their wisdom

imparted with each drop.

 

We have only forward to walk from here.

An extended hand and the beginning

of a journey towards a destination

entirely unknown.  i am happy to have you

walk beside me– but

i refuse to drag you along.

My will is not strong enough

for the both of us–

and the tide is swelling.  .  .

About mandycregan

i'm a mom, partner, healer, writer, business owner and dancer.
This entry was posted in 30 poems 30 days, beginnings, growth, love, pain, poems, poetry, Postaday, protection, transformation, trust, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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