where there’s a will…

yesterday i peeled away a layer

one that had long concealed my vulnerability.

Underneath that film– i found a need to prove myself.

a deep and darkened shame,

a tortured, broken structure that believed

in itself to the point of actualization.

 

As i walked around the landscape

of my deeply held beliefs, turned concrete,

listened to what they whispered in the

darkness, amidst the sobs and whimpers,

i realized they only wanted light– needed

but a voice–

my eyes–

to see them.

my empathy– to tell myself i’ve done

nothing wrong.

there was no failure.

i did a good job.

i’m doing a good job–

 

continuously

stretching myself past the things i’ve

told myself are true.

Constantly molding and remolding my structures

to perfection– their fluid lines and

curving shapes releasing the fear they held

of unborn babes being stopped short–

 

confusion at the hurdle when ease was

expected–

a slippery slide into the world.

the determination and will these hurdles

allow cannot be quantified.

 

It will propel my children forward

through their singing, dancing, laughing lives

with the unconscious understanding

that there is always a way through.

About mandycregan

i'm a mom, partner, healer, writer, business owner and dancer.
This entry was posted in poetry, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to where there’s a will…

  1. Cubby says:

    Your writing is really breathtaking. I find free verse a difficult medium for me, but you make it seem so effortless…it is truly such a pleasure to read your writing, I get shivers. πŸ™‚

    • mandycregan says:

      thank you so much– free verse for me is generally just an allowance of my thoughts to come tumbling out. writing is such a means of processing for me– i spew it all out on to the page and then shape it as i type it out. and just like you, i’m continuously editing– going back and making small changes. what i love most about your writing is how it hits me– it always has an impact.

  2. Cubby says:

    But not everyone’s tumbling thoughts are as well organized and coherent as yours, even after the editing process. I feel the same way about your writing…my eyes get wider as I continue reading until they’re practically popping out of my head. πŸ™‚

  3. Devan says:

    I’m actually having trouble expressing how wonderful this is. So good just doesn’t cover it! My goodness… πŸ™‚

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